Preparing for Spiritual Direction
1. Take a few moments to center yourself. Express your desire to follow Spirit’s leading.
2. Read over the questions (below) and respond to what seems most relevant to you.
3. Notice and consider questions that bother you or seem irrelevant. It may be that something unexpected will come to mind.
4. Take time to express any thoughts, questions, points of gratitude, or arguments that rise in you as you go through the questions.
5. As you finish, express your trust that God’s Spirit is with you now and always.
6. Jot down your thoughts and feelings in a (spiritual direction) journal.
Some good starting places:
• Reflect on the past: What were the earliest stirrings of God’s presence in your life? What have been important moments of light or joy, times of difficulty or despair, of steady comfort? How would you describe your experience? How has God seemed present or absent?
• Reflect on your relationships: What people or conversations have communicated to you a sense of God’s presence and/or absence? What do you notice as you remember?
• Describe your current situation: What’s energizing or enjoyable, what’s difficult or draining. Do you sense a holy calling in some area of life? A divine discontent? A call to growth or commitment? How are you following this up?
• Consider your spiritual practices: How do connect with the Holy? What helps you to stay attentive to God/Spirit/Center? Where do you experience difficulty?
• Consider what might be changing: Are you facing any significant questions or transitions? Describe them. What is this like for you? What do you need, want, or long for in this moment?
• Get creative: If you could use any colors, images, one or two words, or music, how might you express what life has been like for you? If you like, choose an object, artistic creation, or image and meditate or journal on how it relates to your spiritual experience.
*Freely adapted from the brochure, “How to Prepare for Spiritual Direction,” from the Henri Nouwen Institute, no longer available.
Grounding and Orienting (6ish minutes)
Resmaa Menakem, The Quaking of America: An Embodied Guide to Navigating Our Nation’s Upheaval and Racial Reckoning (©2022, Central Recovery Press, Las Vegas), pp. 29-30. In this, and his book, My Grandmother’s Hands, Menakem offers a variety of embodied practices that may enrich direction and worship practices.
• Online: Please turn off your screens for this practice.
• If you’re able to stand, please do.
• Whether standing or sitting, make yourself comfortable.
• If you’d like to stretch your neck or roll your shoulders a little, go ahead.
• Now let your gaze soften and drop; your eyes may close or find a focus point. In person: If you catch the gaze of someone in the room during this practice, simply continue.
• Take three slow, deep breaths.
• Breathe in deeply. Breathe out fully.
Notice the outline of your skin and the slight pressure of the air around it. Experience the pressure beneath your feet. If you’re seated, feel the pressure of the seat beneath you. Notice your breath—how it feels and sounds as it enters and leaves your nose, your windpipe, your lungs, your belly. For a few breaths, simply follow the air as it flows into and out of your body. (I count three.)
Notice any other sensations in your body: the bend in your knees; your spine, straight or curved; any movement of air on your skin or in your hair; your belly and any tension you hold there; your chest as it fills and releases; any tension in your shoulders, back, or neck.
Now, scan your body, starting at the bottom. Notice the slight pressure or shoes or socks on your feet; the temperature, any warmth or coolness; what feels tight or relaxed; notice any pleasant or painful sensation. Notice how your breathing continues.
Let your awareness move upward slowly, through your calves and shins, to your knees, your upper legs. Notice temperature, tension or pressure, release, pleasure or pain. Notice where you feel your underclothing, pants, shirt, collar or necklace. Notice your jaw, mouth, lips, nose, ears—everything to the top of your head.
Now we’ll orient to our place. Open your eyes if they’ve been closed. Notice what’s in front of you, the ceiling and its height, the height and color of the wall, any doors or windows and other details that stand out. Turning your head, slowly look to the right, continuing to . Rotate as far as you can to look behind you. What do you hear inside your building and outside?
Note any smells, warmth of coolness, colors that stand out. Also notice any sensations you experience in your head, neck and shoulders as they move.
Return to center, then turn and look to the left, scanning in the same way for what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Then do the same, looking up, looking down. When you’re finished, return to center and finish with a few normal breaths. If a word has come to you, feel free to breathe with it.
Online: Please turn on your screens when you’re ready to continue.
Adapted by Brenda Satrum in 2024 Soul Tender Spiritual Direction and Formation www.soultender.live
The Four Mantras
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Please offer as much undistracted presence as you can: our loving presence is the most powerful gift we give ourselves and each other. Silence your tech during group times and as much as possible during breaks. Also, whatever happens here stays here, of course.
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To yourself—sensations in your body, especially your energy level, tensions, resistance to rest or to vulnerability or exposure, hunger. Do not force yourself into anything. I do not need or require anything of you. THIS IS YOUR RETREAT. Please tend to yourself in whatever way you most need—including to just sleep or sit or take time alone.
To others—when others speak, please attend them as fully as possible. Enjoy the freedom not to fix, advise, or solve anything for others, but simply listen with compassion.
To God—notice the images, words, phrases, colors, even smells that rise to your awareness, the divine Presence that we sense in the energy of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness...
Whenever you notice you’re distracted, just bring your attention back—or do what you must do.
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Speak the loving truth that comes to you as you feel free to share it with two cautions: 1) Reflect only what you hear or notice in the other’s telling; no fixing, advising, judging, counsel. 2) Speak sparingly (Does it need to be said? ...to be said now? ...to be said now by me?). My job is to hold our container—our time, our interaction and attention. Please let me know if there’s anything you need or want— thermostat adjustments, breaks, more, less...
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As a perfectionist, this trips me up. We come as we are into God’s gracious presence and provision—all of us enough as we are. Holy movement happens because God is faithful, and we are here with God.
Nothing you can do or say could make God love you more
than God is loving you in this moment.
Nothing you can do or say could make God love you less
than God is loving you in this moment.
Adapted by Brenda Satrum in 2024 Soul Tender Spiritual Direction and Formation www.soultender.live
Taught by Suzanne Stabile of Life in the Trinity Ministries, Enneagram teacher and author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. Suzanne credits these mantras to ancient teachings found among the Basque peoples of France and Spain and among the Indigenous peoples of North America.
Dwelling In The Word
Dwelling in the Word (1) is a practice that may be used to help in communal discernment. It is an intentional practice, a nourishing habit. It involves:
• Reflection
• Deep listening to one another AND to God’s Word
• Patience
• Faith...that God will be revealed and that the Holy Spirit will guide us
Process:
1. Opening prayer. Facilitator asks a member of the group to open with a brief prayer.
2. Read. Facilitator asks two different people read the (same) passage out loud. Allow a few moments between readings.
3. Reflect silently on the passage for two minutes. You can write notes if you want.
4. Share. Pair up with a friendly looking stranger (or a strange looking friend!) Each of you will have four minutes (the group should assign a timekeeper) to tell your partner your response to these two questions:
• What word, phrase, or idea captured your attention?
• What question might you want to ask a biblical scholar (2) about this passage?
5. Listen. This is the hard part. LISTEN to what your partner tells you, because you will give a one-minute summary report to the group what you heard your partner say about the passage. You can take notes if you want.
6. Report. Tell the rest of the group a one-minute summary of what you heard your partner say. Try not to express your own thoughts, but, rather,those of your partner.
7. Reflect. After everyone has reported to the group, we will reflect together:
• What might God be saying in this passage to you/us today?
• What might God be inviting you/us to do in response to God's word?
8. Closing Prayer.
Adapted by Brenda Satrum in 2024 Soul Tender Spiritual Direction and Formation www.soultender.live
(1) Developed by Patrick Keifert and Church Innovations. A twist on the ancient practice of Lectio Divina, holy reading.
(2) This "biblical scholar" is not present. The pointis to wonder and ask the question, not come up with an answer. As the old rabbi once said:That's such a good question, I hate to spoil it with an answer!"
Palms Up Palms Down
Pete Grieg, one of the founders of the 24/7 Prayer movement and author of The Prayer Course, offers “Palms Up, Palms Down” in the course’s toolshed (www.24-7prayer.com). Inspired by Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, its imaginative nature rests in Ignatian practice, and its biblical touchpoint is Psalm 55:22, “Cast your cares on YHWH, who will sustain you.”
Palms down. In a comfortable seated position, neither rigid nor slouched. Recollect the presence of God, who is delighted that you’ve come. You can close your eyes and simply imagine the hands of God or Jesus resting gently on top of your legs.
Sit with that for now, or if you’d like, imagine Jesus, Abba, Sophia, or someone who embodies God’s presence seated facing you. Take a moment to let their features take shape—eyes, mouth and nose, hair or lack thereof... Notice the expression on their face as they look at you with kind expectation and a deep desire to listen to you. Rest in God’s presence for two or three breaths—maybe breathing together, enjoying each other.
Now your holy friend turns their hands palms up, still resting on your legs. You place your hands, palms down, upon theirs. Your ‘palms down’ posture indicates that you want to give or release your concerns to God.
Begin to tell your godly friend any worries or anxieties you may have about your life, your work, or the day ahead. Speak out your concerns for loved ones or parishioners who are ill or in distress, for meetings or congregational situations that lie ahead, for difficult relationships at home or work, for big decisions, old sorrows—whatever is weighing on your heart or mind... (pause for silence)
As you come to an end of your telling, how do you feel in your body or spirit? What is your companion’s expression now? Has it changed in any way? Do you notice any relief or release, lightness in yourself?
Palms up. When you’re ready, after some minutes of silence, turn your hands around, palms up. Let your sacred friend’s hands cover your own. Feel their texture— rough or smooth—their temperature—warm or cool—and their shape and weight upon your own open hands.
Now begin to ask Jesus, Abba, Sophia—or God in the face of your dear friend—for their peace, their courage. Ask for whatever it is that you need: God’s presence, love, direct action in your own or another’s life to address whatever concerns you’ve just given into their care.
Continue breathing together, receiving fresh peace, presence and power in place of your natural concerns and requests. Be open now and in the time to come to receive a particular promise from scripture, a sense of direction or an impression in your imagination concerning some of these requests.
Rest. Remain a few more moments without asking for anything. Rest in the love of your kind listener. You have handed your concerns to God—who holds the whole blessed world in their capable hands. God is loving you deeply in these moments, and that is more than enough for now.
Highs and Lows
This practice has been around forever and has taken on many forms. Doug and I used it nightly as our kids grew up and still use it regularly to check in as a couple. Our congregation uses it at youth group, church council, Bible studies and classes, service activities. It can also be practiced alone, especially with a journal. It is a very basic form of the Ignatian/Jesuit Examen of Consciousness/Conscience. Feel free to let your practice evolve, add God sightings, or Spirit moments or whatever. Hearing each other’s highs and lows teaches attentive listening freed from fixing, advising, or discussing what is heard, and it lays a strong foundation for conversations in which conflicting viewpoints might be shared and better understood without requiring debate or resolution.
Gather and quiet the group. (Family pillow fights or other active games or sillyquestions if you’re online may be a fun way to get the group together.)
The process: Each person is invited to share their highs and lows from the experience, day, week, month—whatever seems appropriate in your setting. Others will listen without interrupting as the person speaks. There will be no responses or conversation, though short clarifying questions may be helpful. In some settings a timer is helpful to keep things moving along. When each person is done sharing their highs and lows, they choose the next person to share. The person chosen to be next may pass (for good), pass for now (choose me again later), or share their own highs and lows and invite the next person.
The prayer: Some groups may follow up highs and lows by praying for each person as they feel led based on what they heard. A leader may initially offer prayers for all and the whole group. Groups may agree ahead of time to pray and work out who each person will be responsible to pray for—this helps attention, teaches engaged listening, and affirms the importance, belonging, and ability of the group members to support each other spiritually.
Adapted by Brenda Satrum in 2023. Soul Tender Spiritual Direction and Formation www.soultender.live
Beloved Prayer
Composed by Arthur LeClair for Sacred Journey in 1996 and shared in Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri Nouwen, pages 36-37. Adapted by Brenda Satrum in 2023. www.soultender.live
For use alone, with a spiritual director, or in small prayer groups. This prayer can be offered on the way to work, in the quiet of early morning, in the evening before bed, or while wishing for sleep in the middle of the night. When offered in a group, allow time for people to come slowly from the depths and give ample time before speaking again.
Those who have used this prayer speak about a deep healing that takes place within them. If you practice this form of prayer over a period of time, you will live with a clearer and kinder understanding of your place in the universe.
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Sit relaxed and at ease. Feel your feet...your bum... Deep breaths... Have confidence that God’s love will show itself in some way. Perhaps imagine Jesus beside, behind, or somewhere near. For the first period (3 to 10 minutes), say the following words (from God’s voice at Jesus’ baptism) in silence with the rhythm of your breath—slowly, simply, and sincerely:
Jesus, you are the Beloved.
(Leader: Repeat the words aloud as desired.) Let your heart fill with nonverbal praise and thanks. Let distractions flow on as you notice them, even when they press upon you. After a while the distractions will seem less and less urgent as you let them go. Be with Jesus, the Beloved, in this moment.
At the end of this period: Jesus, you have said (Jn. 14), “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; remain in my love.” Friends, you and I are also Beloved, so we say now:
Jesus, I am the Beloved.
Breathe these words deep into your body. If they seem jarring, that’s ok. Notice the resistance, greet it, and continue with trust in the words (repeat). May this truth settle into us as we repeat the words aloud and breathe them in silence.
At the end of this period: Now all the colors of God’s love shine out. Extend your awareness of God’s love over all people, all that exists in spiritual and physical reality:
Jesus, we (all) are the Beloved.
Let people come into your heart and awareness: family, friends, neighbors, strangers, enemies, groups, people or situations you know or read about in the news. Allow your heart to bring to the surface anyone Spirit moves into your attention; hold them in the love of God which most certainly holds us all.
At the end of the prayer: Conclude with a simple word of thanks or the Lord’s Prayer; surface gently and slowly. Return to this loving Presence throughout your day.
Lovingkindness Prayer
[ A free recording and transcript of a Lovingkindness prayer is available at palousemindfulness.com as well as other free audio meditations and the online Self-Guided MBSR course ]
May "all beings" be happy, healthy and whole.
May they have love, warmth and affection.
May they be protected from harm, and free from fear.
May they be alive, engaged and joyful.
May "all beings" enjoy inner peace and ease.
May that peace expand into their world and throughout the entire universe.
This prayer is traditionally done for successively wider circles of caring, with “all beings” replaced appropriately. The first round would be for yourself, then those closest to you, then those who you feel neutral toward, then those with whom you have difficulties, and continuing outward until it includes all beings.